We are defined by the things we love. Ofocurse id told you once and i think all of us actually believe that love isnt hte only things tha defines us .. but to get the true measure of a man … love may really be the biggest hint at showing who he really is.
In my life I have loved many people .. friends .. family and otherwise. We all go through the things im talking of here and in these journeys of life i have fallen for a girl once whom i did love … maybe not in the purest sense in which we understand … but maybe just in a way where i wanted to help her and be there for her whenver she needed anything .. its about her that this book screamed about in its opening act and she is maybe the most recurrign character in my life….
after that i fell in love in the commonly understood meaning … i loved this lady and she didnt love me back .. typical …. 🙂 …. but with her there was a difference .. she strove me to achieve things that i had never imagined myself capable of while the earlier had shown me the passion to do things that i loved to do .. was good at and enjoyed … they both taught me some of the best lessons in life and i have no illwill towards either of them in my heart ….. there were moments of euphoria followed by trials by tears … but life wove its pattern as i went by and by …..
till now i refer to the love that is measureable in the terms of your endearment to a person …. but now i seek to shift a little …. what i had truly loved .. about myself.
I love to write .. and sometimes this book has heard my rants about now being able to ….
though ive acheived a lot more in life than i thought i could …. being the looser that i was ,,, ive lost something along the way ..
an thi is the part of me .. that was a romantic .. the part of me that could just stare at the sun for hours and still be mesmerised day after day .. night after night i longed to write about the legends of the moon and hours i idled by just driving through these beautifull lands we live in … i didnt study too much .. i was not “professional” .. i wasnt a musician preaching to a choir that i wanted to adore me .. i was just an idiot with a guitar n his room who just loved to sldie his fingers down the wooden beauty as she sang to him tunes he heard only in his head ….. i was the looser who drifted off into vallinor at the mention of the name of the girl i loved … i was the londer who would don his mask and get lost inside the crowd .. not as one of them … but simply as a ghost who people forget to acknowledge …
i was the man who had known the road to power and given up on it …. destroyed his future for the sake of the ideals he believed in …. loved and lived a life and lived a life that brought me immeasureable pain …. someone who threw his little bit of earned money to see someone else smile …. money was just another toy to enjoy …… a ma lost in his thoughts .. in his writings .. in his legends and mysteries …. not caring aobut what hte world thought of him but caring deeply about what his friends thought of him ….. a lost cause … a rebel .. an fool .. a loner … a looser
and he was happpppppy ……….even when he was sad.
Then came the next phase …. I got my act together … participated in competitions .. did well … foudns out i still had the gift of gab i once possessed … traded my writing gift for a new parchament ….. got better grades … stopped playing music and started writing music ….. stopped reading his old philosophers, tolkien and russians and instead read chetan bhagat and j k rowling. … went to different cities .. worked for different people .. made contacts ..lost friends … got popular … was recognised for his work …. won some accolades … people came to him for help …. and he helped them …. he didnt care about what ‘that girl’ was thinking about him .. still dressed sloppy but a little more formally so he felt good about himself …. he was a better son than before … afterall he seemed to exist for a purpose … had his heart broekn by the girl who got him into this world and he suffered for a while and then came out of his remorse to win the world anew … he came on top wherever he tried and he still wages battles ……………………………………………………. he is more successfull than he ever thought he would be …. he isnt sad … but he isnt happy either …………. he cant write…. he doesnt enjoy music like he did …
its a sad life …. a lonely life …. a successfull life(somewhat)
and into this world came this … person … and she changed him in a different way … she didnt make him set goals or do things …… he was doing all the things in the second phase of his life .. but he enjoyed being around her so much .. it felt like he was his old self again ….. and i wont write much write now … because i feel this is the start of something that i would want to write when i can write like the old times again …. this might be .. something to really believe in … somehow i feel i can yet be redeemed