Sighing a melody that even i cant define
walking down a pathway that i wont tonight
its like a dream meets a nightmare
like a spirt floating down
a mystery of the obvious
pains of pleasure abound
when the mind is so numbed
that every pain seeps too deep
when you can feel your heart beating
but not the blood in your feet
when you sit down to swallow
the gulp of air you couldnt breathe
oh its the darkest of days
in the clearest of nights
dream, wont you dream
another terror for me
dream wont you dream
another mystery to be
when the pain is so sharp
that being numb is all you care
when the suffocating chimes
of the distant lands roar
all your mind is a sanctum
for all the beast in your head
when screaming is the only
thing that saves your mind
scream another dream for me
wont you scream again for me

Pain is an elixir as much as it is a poison.

Someday it will make you feel like your life has been the same drag for an eternity and the next it will make you fall in a new hell you never knew existed.
Its a pill you hate to swallow but life jostles it down your throat anyway.
Its a drug you want to quit but your not aware of a life without.
Its a sorrow at times too shallow to hide yet usually deep enough to hurt.
Its the darkness of the night that swallows you whole yet has a moon shining to make you think you can see your path.

Selling my Soul, Stifling my Existence

They say that one should change who he is for a girl he likes.
Dont change who you are for someone you like……
Do the same rules apply for friends …???? Is it ok .. or is it rather mandatory for you to change who you are so your friends can live with you … rather the social repurcussions of who you are????
What if your friends are humiliated by the person you are .. or maybe .. as in my case … whatif those friends are just tired of ppl asking you why they botehr to be friends with a nutcase ?? Why do you defend an asshole like him??
What does that do to me ….
Since my friends choose to defend me from the Dictators of Society I have to remodel myself to better fit the social dicta for nothing gives me the right to burden my friends with the responsibility of having to handle my mess ………………….. But what if that mess is something i like or dont care about…..
Im feeling … from friends who dont get who i am to friends who dont want to acknowledge what i am … people who want to change me to better suit their ideal of a good person so they can feel better about who theyre friends with and fele they made hteir friends life better …
Did you .. serisouly … have you made my life better by making me what you think is a better person …………….. i dont care what society thinks ….. you do … so should i too??????
Sometiems loosing your soul is as simple a matter as not letting it fly free and leashing it around the ppl who are supposed to see you in your flight as you tear through the skies of social normalcy and personal ambition.
What if my friends never understood me and partly only a part of who i am … do i have to behave myself to their liking so they can be happy ………………..
the sad answer is YES
we need to chain our emotions so we dont end up hurting those we love for they .. even if they dotn always understand us … they love us…
what i dont like is when they hurt me and themselves over people who dont care about them more than a colleague worries about “that guy who worked here a year ago”.
Sometimes i wonder if its a bad thing to hurt those you lvoe to make them stronger .. to make them harder when theyre not …. to be the bad guy who takes the blame for ruining their life if it will make theirs better … if itll open their eyes ….
What gives me the right to take these decisions for them … what if anything at all ……………
its a thankless world .. and those who care may hurt you .. but dude … they care
sell your soul for them … coz they bloody sold theirs for you !!!